I believe that God is telling me to write about grieving, and I don’t want to.

Yes, that’s right I’m the “cup half full girl, and when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade!” Yep, that’s me!

It’s not that I am not emotional, which anyone who knows me would put a big “AMEN” on that! It’s just that I would rather look at all the positives and let my life be dictated by those.

While this is truly naturally who I am, and who I believe God made me to be, grief is real and it remains somewhat of a mystery to me.

Knowing God‘s Truth, truly does set us free! And through the grief of losing my mom, God‘s Truth of knowing she is in heaven, and I will be reunited with her someday, has truly been the anchor that has rooted my soul and kept me moving forward!

But what about this tricky thing called GRIEF?

I know from a psychological and medical standpoint that grief is real! I also have read about all of the steps of grief and how you need to embrace it and go through it. Problem is, I am not just a mental and physical person. I am an emotional person that has chosen to ground myself in the TRUTH OF WHAT GOD SAYS TO ME!

I know that I could look up grief on any number of websites and give you a step-by-step healing process that is medically sound!

I also know I can speak the word grief into ChatGPT or any other search engine, and present you with an articulate plan for grieving.

But that’s just not the way I roll! God has given me an ear and a voice! He wants me to lean into Him and listen and speak His Truth in love. 

So that is what I’m attempting to do! To lean into him, to express my sorrow and confusion and grief to Him, to read His Word and to listen to His voice and share His Truth.

It may be only for me, but it may help you too, as you process your grief. 

I believe that one of the lessons that I am learning, is that we all process grief in our own way. It may help you to follow a clinical process, but what I know to be true, is that true healing can only come through the great physician, Jesus Christ! When we lean on him and our obedient to what he is calling us to do, we will find what the Bible calls, “Healing for our soul!”

Now I may run the risk of you writing me off or thinking I’ve gone a little bit crazy. But I know that God loves us so much that when we hurt, He hurts! And His greatest desire is for us to heal and be made whole again! So out of obedience to what I believe, God is calling me to do, I am going to write this series on my grieving process! You are not going to find it in any medical journal or in a psychology, textbook. But I do believe, if God is piercing my heart to share it, then He not only desires to bring healing to me, but healing to others as well!

Grieving part one:

Staring out the window!

My life is full and busy and it sometimes is pure crazy! But since December 3, the day my mom went to heaven, I find myself in still, quiet moments, just staring out the window. I can literally sit, uninterrupted, still, and quiet, just staring out the window until I’m interrupted!

I’m not crying, I’m not sobbing. I’m not depressed or sad, I’m just staring.

Actually, I’ve come to realize I’m not simply staring. I’m looking for something! I’m waiting for a bird to fly by. I’m waiting for the sun to rise over the top of of the Hills, or for the sun to set and go below the hills. I’m waiting for a sound of life! For a dog to bark, for a child to laugh or giggle, or for a bird to squawk. I’m looking for signs of HOPE!

Sometimes I will hear a child playing and laughing and talking to their mom, and a solid tear may roll down my cheek. But it’s not a tear of sadness, it’s a tear of Hope.

I have a picture in my house that frames the words, ”THE SUN WILL COME UP.”

Why would someone sell this piece of artwork and better yet, Why would someone put it up in their home?

One simple answer! HOPE!

We have no guarantee that the sun will actually rise tomorrow morning! But we do have Hope that because the world continues to function as God created it to the sun will indeed  “COME UP!”

When I stare out the window and look for evidence of life, I gain Hope in knowing that God is in control of our living and our dying! I am also encouraged as I gain a greater understanding of God‘s purpose for life continuing.

Truth Bomb

Grieving isn’t one size fits all, but with God there is always Hope!

Grief can sometimes feel overwhelming and get us stuck! It can drag us down and make us feel hopeless in living! But God reminds us as we look at the vast amount of sky he created, and listen to the birds singing while they sit on a tree limb, or watching the birds soar through the blueness of the sky, or listen to and hear a child’s gleeful giggling, that we were created to live until he calls us to our eternal home!

Speak Truth Love