The Four Loves, Week 4

Today we conclude our theme on ‘LOVE!’

The Bible clearly speaks about Four Distinct Loves, Phileos,(brotherly love,) Storge, (family love), Eros (romantic love), and finally AGAPE, GOD’S LOVE.

We studied the first three in the first three weeks of February, and we now conclude with our fourth and final, AGAPE.


AGAPE LOVE is a DIVINE LOVE! It is a LOVE so pure, and so perfect that mere human words do not define it. The only words fitting a definition of this AMAZING LOVE is found within the pages of God’s Love Letter to us, the Bible.

I John 4:10
Dear Friends, let us continue to LOVE one another, for LOVE comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, FOR GOD IS LOVE.
God showed how much He loved us by sending His one and only Son into this world so that we might have eternal life through Him. This is real LOVE – not that we loved God, but the He loved us and sent His Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.

GOD IS LOVE! It is who He is, not in part, but in whole! Real LOVE can only be found in the Divine nature of God Himself.

We feel God’s great LOVE for us when we accept the gift of His Son and the sacrifice He made on our behalf.

For God so LOVED the world that He gave His one and only Son so that whoever believes in Him will not perish but will have eternal life.” John 3:16

When God lives in us through the gift of His Holy Spirit, we then are able to demonstrate His great LOVE to others.

Dear Friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and His Love is brought to full expression in us.”                    I John 4: 11-12

So as we conclude our study on ‘THE FOUR LOVES,’ I pose the same question C.S. Lewis posed…

How does LOVE work in our daily lives?

Are we able to love our friends, acquaintences, and even those we do not know?

Are we successful at honoring, respecting and demonstrating love to our family?

Are we equipped to put another first, before our own needs and maintain romantic love when we feel like it and when we don’t?

The answer is NO, not without The Love of God, Agape love, that is Divine and Supernatural.




As Lewis so eloquently puts it;

“The human loves can be glorious images of Divine Love, No less than that, but also No more.”

As our love for God grows, we grow closer to others, and as our love for others grows, we grow closer to God!

It is DIVINE, it is a MYSTERY, it is TRUTH, it is GOD’S LOVE!

Speak Truth Love



The Four Loves, Week 3

Yes, this is the week, the week you have either been looking forward to, or dreading!

ROMANTIC LOVE brings up all sorts of mixed feelings and emotions! Some of us cannot wait to talk about it, while others of us would rather suck on a sour lemon!

You may have been blessed to be raised in a home where this kind of love was demonstrated between a loving and committed mother and father.

You may have been raised in a home where quite the opposite was demonstrated. Where love was conditional and even demanded. Where love was performance based and given out only when expectations were met.

This type of LOVE is the LOVE we all think about first when we hear the word,


But regardless of your upbringing, views or opinions on the subject, God clearly speaks about EROS LOVE in His Word.

And even though the greek word EROS, lends us to lean into “erotic love”, to do so would be “putting the cart before the horse,” so to speak! The picture depicted in God’s Word, is one of committed, exclusive love that chooses the other, protects the other and puts the others needs above their own!

Song of Solomon 3:2: “I will search for the one I love.

True love is exclusive…”for the ONE I love.” Not the many, not the one right now, but THE ONE!

True Love is also choosen! The One, “I will search for…” This love is a love that is sought after and chosen!

In this beautiful song from one lover to another, the young woman here says,

Song of Solomon 2:16: “My lover is mine and I am his…

She is confident and sure of her lover’s love for her. Why, because he wrote a sonnet, bought an expensive gift, or demonstrated his love for her physically? No, because he has given her the greatest gift in knowing that she is CHOSEN by him, BELONGS to him, and is SOUGHT AFTER by him. There is no greater sense of felling loved than that!

True Love is an exclusive love that puts the other first!




Philippians 2:4: “Each of you should look not only to his own
interests, but also to the interests of others.

When this type of love is accomplished, then and only then, is romantic love completed in sexual love.

Sexual desire is created by God, but it is not to be confused with LUST!

The dictionary definition of LUST is: “The intense sexual desire or appetite. A passionate or overmastering desire or craving.”

This definition itself causes us to yield, and take note of our motives and desires.

Are we in this for ourself? Is our desire to please and feed the hungry appetite of our sexual desire?

C.S. Lewis, in his chapter on EROS LOVE, in his book ‘The Four Loves’, gives this warning:

“What is feared is pre-occupation, the need of constantly ‘pleasing’ – that is, considering – one’s partner…”


“It is marriage itself, not the marriage bed, that will be likely to hinder us from waiting uninterruptedly on God.”

I know that’s a mouth full! But basically, Lewis is telling us here that if we desire the true EROS love that God desires for us in a marriage relationship then we must look to Philippians 2:4, and put the needs of the one we love, before our own needs! And yes, I believe that God is clearly telling us here that TRUE LOVE, EROS LOVE is only found in marriage.

My lover is mine and I am his.

Song of Songs 2:16
This is an exclusive LOVE! This is a committed LOVE! This is a love that seeks the best interest of the other, AKA, THE BELOVED!

Lewis puts it like this,

“EROS LOVE reduces the nagging and addictive character of mere sexual appetite.”

He also adds,

“It lends, no doubt, to a pre-occupation with the beloved.”

This is God’s desire for His children. To love like this and to be loved like this.

But it is not God’s plan for everyone! There are examples in The Word of God that point this out. The apostle Paul is the most obvious. He dedicated his life to serving God and not finding this kind of Love.

If you have this love, guard protect and celebrate it. Work hard to keep it in the confines of God’s desire for it!

If you do not have this kind of love, then know that you are loved exclusively, chosen and desired by your Father God, and He will supply all your needs.



This is a tough one to share about! It produces warm and fuzzy feeling in some, and confusion and frustration in others. But we would be negligent not to speak about it. Why, because God speaks about it! We as His children have the obligation to speak about it in Love. To clearly share the guidelines He has drawn, and to not allow the world to describe it for us!

Remember, ultimately , perfect love is found in no one else, ONLY JESUS!

None of us can love properly, or be loved properly, without God’s Love!

I love you all and look forward to seeing you back here next week and we tackle the most powerful of all the LOVES!

Speak Truth Love

The Four Loves, Week 2


“The human loves can be glorious images of Divine love. No less than that: but also no more.”
‘The Four Loves’ by C. S. Lewis

Last week I shared the first of the four loves talked about in the Word of God, PHILEOS, friendship love. This week we are tackling the second type of love, The Word of God refers to in the Greek as STORGE. In the Greek Lexicon, STORGE is defined as “AFFECTION, especially as parents to offspring; but also offspring to parents.”

In the book, ‘The Four Loves’, by C. S. Lewis, Lewis states, “I shall here call it simply AFFECTION.

While I am not attempting to do a book review in any way shape or form. Nor am I a book promoter, I am simply sharing with you two of, if not THE TWO, favorite authors of mine and their insights on the subject of LOVE.

C. S. Lewis, like I said last week, is a brilliant author and writes an exquisite description of each of the four loves spoken about in the Bible.

Francine Rivers is also a brilliant author who in her latest novel, ‘The Masterpiece’, depicts an unexpected and redemptive love story.

Both reads are well worth your time. Francine will leave you wanting her to write another, and Lewis will strain your brain, while enlarging you heart.

As our focus is on STORGE Love this week, the definition of our Love of Family comes clearly into view with Lewis’s description of AFFECTION.

He defines STORGE love as both a “Need Love”, and a “Gift Love,” as a mother to nursing baby. The importance of this image, Lewis says, it that it represents both the “NEED LOVE,” and the “GIFT LOVE.”

“It is a “NEED LOVE” but what it needs is to give. It is a “GIFT LOVE” but it needs to be needed.” C. S. Lewis

As this definition sinks deep down into my mind and heart, it causes me to reflect on the love of my family of origin. While not perfect, my family loved me. My mother and father were divorced after twenty years of marriage, and both were remarried. While this brought in obvious challenges and changes that my sisters and I would not have elected to have in our lives, we were loved.

It took me years to see this truth in it’s fullness, but nevertheless, it was there.

It also gave me a gift I never recognized until many years later. It gave me a strong desire to pray for and find a mate who would partner alongside me to raise a godly heritage. One who would see and reflect God’s love in their lives and in their life choices.

My marriage was and is, far from perfect! My children are not perfect either (You’ll notice I omitted the “far from”, when referring to my children. In my eyes they are close to perfect)! But in all honesty, I know they are not perfect and I can point out their flaws as easily as they can point out mine. Why? Because we are a FAMILY!


Your family of origin may be very different from mine or it may be similar. Your immediate family may be very different from mine or similar. But the bottom line is NO TWO FAMILIES ARE EXACTLY ALIKE!
They are not intended to be! God has created each of us individually and uniquely! We have a set of fingerprints that NO ONE ELSE HAS! We have a DNA that NO ONE ELSE HAS! God never intended us to follow any set of rules except those outlined in His Love Letter, THE BIBLE!

Your family is unique! Your family is yours, and God intends for you to love the family He gave you!

We have the freedom to choose our other types of loves, but God chooses our family for us!
Therefore, as difficult and sometimes painful as it is to love our family of origin, God calls us to do so!

“So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other, just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”
(AKA my followers.)
John 13:34-35




Like any of the four loves, it is not always easy. We may have a loving and supportive family and they are easier to love. However, it still calls for sacrifice and selflessness-putting others first above our own wants and desires. We may have a difficult or near impossible family to love, but we are still called to love them with the love of God. This is a supernatural love that does not put us in harms way, but allows us to love and honor our family even from a distance.

It is a natural God-given love between family that propels us to both gift our love to them, as we receive the love we need in return.

As C. S. Lewis terms it, it is the affection love that both “needs love,” and gifts love.”

If we are to LOVE the way God loves us, then we love at all times, and love affectionally those in our family because WHEN WE LOVE OUR FAMILY WE DEMONSTRATE GOD’S LOVE TO THE WORLD!

God loved us, even when we did not deserve it! He gave us His son so that we could know FOREVER LOVE with Him. God chose our family, we did not, and He calls us to love them so that the world will see His love, not our love!

Did you catch that? When we allow the world to define LOVE for us, any kind of LOVE, it comes up wanting! Wanting love in return. Wanting love to take care of us. Wanting love to satisfy. Wanting love to serve. Wanting love perfected.
The only perfect love is JESUS!
Our family will fall short from providing that kind of love for us, just like we fall short in providing that kind of love for them. But when we allow God’s Love to perfect our imperfect love, and love our family anyway, because God loves us, the world sees the Love of God! And, because we are demonstrating “Gift Love”, and giving, we will receive the “Need Love” we desperately desire!

So, as Valentine’s Day approaches, let’s reach out and LOVE those God has given us as FAMILY!
I give God the glory and a heart full of thanks for the family he has given me!


Speak Truth Love

The Four Loves, Week 1


It’s February, and Love is in the air!

This month our culture sets aside time in February to celebrate LOVE!

Now, before you write this Valentine holiday off as complete commercialism, first consider the opportunity we have to demonstrate what REAL LOVE IS!

First, and foremost, GOD IS LOVE! It is not a character trait that He posses, it is not an attribute that He maintains, it is not merely a piece or a part of Him, IT IS HIS VERY NATURE!

But anyone who does not Love does not know God, FOR GOD IS LOVE.” 1 John 4:8

GOD IS LOVE, so if we know God, then we have that LOVE in us!

Instead of being haters, let’s lean into that LOVE. Let’s take advantage of this opportunity of a month set aside for LOVE, to LOVE others the way God intended us to!

God speaks about four different kinds of LOVE in His ‘LOVE LETTER” to us, The Bible.

The brilliant author C.S. Lewis wrote an exquisite description of each one of these four loves in his book by the same title, ‘The Four Loves.’ It’s a great read and I HIGHLY recommend it. If you want to go into depth about these four loves we are going to talk about this month, then this is the book for you!

In a smaller version, a condensed version if you will, we are going to take the month of February and examine these Four Loves.

The first is PHILEOS. Philileos Love, comes from the Greek word ‘phileo’, and means “brotherly love.” In the Greek, phileo is most commonly translated as “friendship or affection.” Phileo speaks of affection, fondness and liking the other. This LOVE is companionable and relational. It’s brotherly LOVE and friendship LOVE. Yes, it is where the name for the city in Pennsylvania derives it’s meaning. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania is know as the “city of brotherly LOVE.”

How cool is it that the ‘PHILADELPHIA EAGLES’ just won the Super Bowl?
Now I digress! We are not going down that road! Just saying though, how cool is it that a team named “brotherly LOVE’, just won the Super Bowl! PRETTY COOL I THINK!

The Bible sets the bar high for brotherly or friendship LOVE! It says,


Sweet, short, simple and to the point. If a friend is truly a friend, that friend loves at ALL TIMES!

Friends come in all shapes, sizes, varieties, ages and stages. Some even come to us as a SURPRISE! Listen and find out how that recently happened to me!




How do we know if we have a true friend? How do we know if we are a true friend?
We love at ALL times! When it is easy and when it is hard. When it is convenient and when it is NOT! When we are being loved back and when we are not!

A true friend, demonstrating the PHILEO LOVE that Jesus talks about, LOVES AT ALL TIMES!
Let’s take this opportunity of a month of LOVE, to demonstrate true brotherly LOVE to the world around us!

God put us in this world. Let’s show the world HIs LOVE!
So go ahead, and have those ‘GALentine’ celebrations! Send those Valentines with your friends and invite your BFF’S for a coffee date, and don’t spare the chocolate! Let all your friends know they are LOVED! PHILEO THEM TO DEATH!

Happy February everyone!

Speak Truth Love