God has been speaking to my heart for quite some time, to “return to my first love.”
If you think I am going to say that it (first love) is the classroom and teaching, you are wrong.
My first love is and must always remain Jesus and Him alone. So then the question,
“Lisa, have you gone away from Jesus?” No! Jesus is my Lord, my Savior, my King and my reason to live. But I had found myself–for several years now–not functioning in my primary giftedness. And so, yes, in a secondary sense, I am returning to my first love, career-wise.
Revelation 2:4 says,
I believe leaving our “first love”, or neglecting our primary gift from God, is an easy thing to do. Much of the time, I believe it is not intentional. In Christianity, it is easy to grow comfortable in “doing good.” In fact, the Bible tells us not to grow weary in doing good. Who is going to argue with you for doing good? Who would call you out for that? My answer–and definitely my experience–is that God is. The question we have to ask ourselves is, “Are we listening?”
Do we push that still small voice to the side? Do we ignore that prick in our spirit? Do we ignore the signs, the stress that is produced rather than the exhilaration when you are functioning in your God-given giftedness? Do we stay in something, because it is good–there is nothing wrong with it and we are being used by God, maybe not to our full
potential, but used. Or worst of all, do we just grow comfortable? Has it become easy? Or is it fear that stops us; the comfort of a paycheck; or the stroke of people’s approval?
For me, the answer to all of the above is “YES.” Was I sinning? No. Was I breaking a spiritual law? No. But was I grabbing hold of God’s best? Sadly, the honest answer to that is also, No. Saying goodbye to one thing, one group of people, one
ministry, is hard, even when you know you’re moving on to something better. You must close the door and say goodbye to people that you love, and work that you have poured your heart and soul into. But when you are listening to God’s call on
your life, and you are obedient to step out in faith and trust Him to lead you into His best for you, He will affirm you! He will give you the “nostalgia” that He has given to me in these last weeks. I think of my Grandma’s words to me over 30 years ago, when others were telling me, “Don’t go into teaching. There’s not enough money in it, and there aren’t enough jobs.” (Yes, I did say 30 years ago! Wow, has it been that long?)
Her words to me were, “If God has gifted you to love children the way you do, and to teach them and train them to love Him, then that is what you should do with your life.”
When I wake up in the morning, I hear her sweet voice, singing in her soprano pitch, “Trust and obey, for there’s no other way, to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.”
now, that same spirit that encouraged me then, comes back to me now, and has helped me make the decision to go back into the classroom.
Just close your eyes for a moment and imagine: If every one of us were functioning in her giftedness and living out God’s best, what would this life look like?