It can be hard to see the light when we are in the dark. When everything around you is darkness, it’s hard to remember that the light is still there. Even though I absolutely love sunrise and daylight, and prefer it when the light is bright, clear, and evident, it does not mean that I do not appreciate the sunset and understand that the moon’s glow still casts light. 

Yesterday marked five weeks of my healing process. The majority of that time, my right eye has been mainly dark with shadowy glimpses of light. And that is simply stating the physical facts. The mental game of wondering if my eyesight will ever return fully, coupled with the emotional state of waiting for the light to return, and the spiritual state of clinging to God through the light times that bring hope, and the dark times that feel hopeless, brought times that felt dark, with little light. The truth is, the Light is always there. Jesus is constant through the brightest moments of our life, as well as through the darkest valleys! His light shines in us and through us, and all around us, at all times if we belong to Him. Jesus is the Light, in every situation we face! Our responsibility is to look to the Light, and trust in Him to illuminate our dark places!

This fifth week brought me to my doctor’s visit with my surgeon. The physical appearance of my eye is much reduced swelling, and much less looking like a cyclops. My long-awaited eye test, which showed zero visibility the first time, revealed nothing but black. I could see no light whatsoever. 

I am going to be very vulnerable now, and share with you that the first eye exam, only 12 hours after surgery, produced severe anxiety. I felt extremely nauseous, dizzy, and faint. But after 5 weeks of trusting the Light, calling on the Light, and leaning into the Light, my eye exam this time produced 20/20 vision!  

I’d love to tell you that it’s been “light” and easy these past weeks, but that’s not been the case. Through it all, however, the Light has continued shine and guide my path. John the Apostle writes, “And the Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it” (John 1:5). 

I still have the gas bubble in my eye, and it continues to dissipate. I pray it will soon be gone, but it has been clear that the light that Jesus brings has shone through my entire experience! At times, it has been a bright beacon that is undeniable! Like when He provided a God-honoring doctor to perform my retina reattachment surgery, and walk me through this healing process. At other times, it has been evident, but dull, as I have clearly been in God’s waiting room, learning patience upon patience upon patience. And at other times, it has been nothing more than a reflection of Jesus Himself, as He has held my hand and walked with me through the darkest moments!

TRUTH BOMB

The light of Jesus is ever present, and it overcomes any darkness we go through!

Speak Truth Love

Yesterday marked the completion of week 4 in my recovery. Week 3 was by far the most difficult week physically, and the discouragement threatened to take hold. But through the faithful encouragement of God through His Word, and the loyal committed and loving people in my life, I was sustained. 

In the second week of my recovery, when my face was straight down, eyes parallel to the ground most of the days, my daughter came to me with tears in her eyes. She didn’t understand why I had to go through something like this, but she believed God had given her one of the reasons. She had been praying for the last couple of months about who the speaker should be for their quarterly Mom’s Night event. She looked straight at me and said, “Mom, I’ve asked God over and over, and I believe it’s supposed to be you.”  I wish this had not been my initial response, but I have committed to being authentic in this Blog. I laughed! How in the world could she be serious?  Besides my eye looking horrific, somewhat like a cyclops, I still had no vision in my right eye at all, and laying face down for two weeks had left me nauseous and dizzy. My girl is my “no nonsense, take care of business, steady Eddy, gift from God.” She meant what she was saying, and believed with all her heart that God had affirmed it. 

If I have learned anything in my 62 years, it is not to say no to God. I said, with tears in my eyes, back to her, that I would do it. I was so honored and so very humbled that she would believe in me. I began praying about it. They had a theme, “I Will Choose to Cultivate a Culture of Intentionality in my Home.”  And a Scripture verse: “Her children arise and call her blessed…”  Proverbs 31:28. 

But if God wanted me to speak for Him, I fully believed He would accelerate my healing process and make that possible!

Now if you remember my third week, the week I committed to this, that was my worst week ever. I made it through and assumed that God had one week left.  As time drew closer and closer to the event, my heart began to sink. Maybe Christina heard wrong?  There was no way that I could walk up on that stage unassisted, let alone speak God’s truth without falling over or tripping on something! And I certainly wouldn’t be wearing any makeup on that right eye, that I still couldn’t even flush with water.  My mind began swirling as I continually asked God over and over, “How am I going to do this?”  

The day of the event, I spent all morning and into the afternoon, writing my message on binder paper, as well and as big and as legible as I could. My head was spinning as my partial sight, which was returning to my right eye, halfway down, was still blurred. My left eye, battling to correct the vision, was blurry also. I would write, and then I’d have to stop and rest my eyes, and then continue writing. My goal was to get it onto my iPad, and then increase the font size. But there was no way my worn out eyes were going to allow that to happen. I resigned myself to the fact that I would be walking on stage, with assistance, holding 15 ripped out spiral notebook paper (can anybody say old school?) and give it my best shot. 

I do want to stop here and praise God, that He, through the 2 weeks, continuously helped me to fight through it and not give up. My daughter is the most sincere, dedicated, committed godly woman I know. She had heard from God that it was supposed to be me. So I had no doubt that God had a plan for me to be on that stage that night. My problem was, I had no idea what God was going to do with me in my fragile, weak state. 

The energy in the room that night was amazing! The humble, dedicated servants that had worked so hard to make that place look so warm and welcoming to those mammas renewed my spirit for God’s people and their commitment to one another. This was God’s night, and I knew He had already shown up. All I had to do was trust Him and step out in faith!

I made it on stage with no assistance. I may have looked like I was 82 walking up those stairs, but I did it. I sat my notes on the podium and realized immediately as i looked down on them, I could not read one thing I had written on that paper. This was God’s night and He and only He knew what those women needed to hear. I trusted Him for it and I started speaking and never stopped for 40 minutes straight!  God had given me a message and had written it on my heart. He brought everything to my mind, just when I needed it. I pray with all my heart that those sweet mamas were blessed. They, beyond a shadow of a doubt, knew that I loved them, but God loved loved them more! But this Mama/Mamma was touched beyond measure. My God showed me that He will use me, even in my fragility and weakness.

As Paul says, “For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 

2 Corinthians 12:10

Truth Bomb

Our Fragility & Weakness Is Not An Obstacle for God!

Speak Truth Love

Knowing Truth

Reading Truth

Clinging to Truth

Claim what you know to be true, so you can cling to what will become true!

What I Know to be Truth:

I know God created me and my eyes, and His plan was for me to see. 

What I Read in God’s Truth:

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful.”  

Psalm 139:13-14

What I Know to be Truth:

I know God led me to a godly doctor, who prayed with me and was available to do the surgery immediately, when it needed to be done(He actually stayed late to do the surgery).

What I Read in God’s Truth:

“If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”  

Matthew 7:11

What I Know to be Truth:

I know that it was God’s perfect timing, in allowing my husband to have time off and to walk through the surgery and the first appointments with me. 

What I Read in God’s Truth: 

“Two are better than one, for they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.”   Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

What I Know to be Truth:

I know that God surrounded me with His angels and held my hand through the almost two hour surgery as I was awake for it. As I was completely strapped down, I had to give my claustrophobia to God and remain perfectly still and He helped me through it.

What I Read in God’s Truth:

“You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!”  Isaiah 26:3

Clinging to Truth: 

Because I know the truth, because I read God’s truth, I can cling to God’s truth when I am about to lose my grip! 

Yesterday marked Week 3 for me in my recovery. I expected week 3 to be better than weeks 1 and 2. After all, isn’t that what recovery implies? It should get better and better each week, if not each day. But week 3 for me was the hardest of all. This active body that loves to do, do, do, and go, go, go, actually started to feel physical harm from not being able to use my body like I used to. Having to be in one position, having to not move, proved to be as frustrating and excruciating as the waiting. But as I felt my grip releasing, I knew that in order not to fall, I had to cling to the truth, and not simply give in to my circumstances. God’s evident and active hand over me from the beginning of this has been obvious to me. His word is Truth and I know it never fails. God has proven this to me over and over again. I know this will pass, and I know this is part of the healing process. And above all, I know that my grip is firm as I hold fast to the truth about God and his grip on me!

Truth Bomb

God’s grip on me is always firmer than my grip on Him!

And my grip grows weak, I will keep knowing, reading, and clinging to God’s Truth. I know that this formula God has for me is that same formula that God has for you. So keep your grip on God’s truth, no matter what you are going through!

Looking forward to meeting you back here for Week 4!

Speak Truth Love

In our culture, we expect to analyze problems, figure them out and fix them, and do it quickly. We want an antidote, a quick fix, an immediate remedy. Give us a pill to take, we have a drive thru mentality. We order something online and expect home delivery in 24 hours or less. We take photos and videos on our phones, and we have access to the finished product immediately.  We don’t even flip through the pages of our Bibles, looking for the right book, and chapter, and verse. We just tap the app, and it pops up immediately. Give us a surgery, but God forbid we’d have to wait for the recovery. Suffice it to say, I am not a natural tummy sleeper!  

Waiting has become my way of life, rather than an occasional nuisance. What I wouldn’t give right now to stand in a line at the bank or the grocery store, seeing out of both eyes, and having actually driven myself there!  All of these things are not possible during my time of waiting. 

That is exactly where I find myself at the end of week 2. I still have no vision in my right eye. I still cannot travel over 1000 feet in elevation. I still cannot lift anything over 20 pounds. I still have to spend the majority of my day with my face down, parallel to the ground, and sleeping face down with my head on a pillow with a hole in it. 

So what do I do while God has called me to wait? Do I grow bitter, or angry, or frustrated at God because this process didn’t fit into my schedule? Not if my desired outcome is to learn what God has for me in the waiting.

The prophet Isaiah talks about waiting, and he puts it this way: “Those who wait on the LORD will renew their strength. They will mount up with wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.”  Isaiah 40:30-31

“Waiting on the LORD” is act of faith. We trust that God will keep His promise until the time of fulfillment. When is that time of fulfillment for me?  That is up to God, not me. My job is to faithful and expectant in the waiting!

Because God was so clearly in my situation from the beginning–how He led us to a faithful Christ following doctor who even prayed with me around our bed–I can trust that the same God who was with me from the beginning will continue to be with me all the way through! By the way, this same doctor told me that it would most likely be six weeks or more for full vision recovery in my eye. 

I do not know what “waiting period” God has you in, my friends, but you are not alone, and while the waiting is hard, our God is able to renew our strength, no matter how weary we feel!

TRUTH BOMB

When I am out of control, I must trust that God is still in control!

I will meet you back here next week as I continue this journey of recovery. Have a blessed week friends!

Speak Truth Love

The “lazy days of Summer” have taken on a whole new meaning for me!

When I began this Summer series, “lazy days of Summer”, it was basically tongue-in-cheek!  Lazy is not in my vocabulary. I was raised by a dad who quoted mantras over my life, such as “Can’t died in the poorhouse”, and “You can do anything you set your mind to”, and “No one can make you do anything. You are in control of you.”  There was no excuse for being bored: there is always something to do! As a child, I heard these things regularly and completely believed them with my whole heart. Not only that, my dad was a professional athlete, so the worst thing in the world was doing nothing. I came home from school with a list of chores.Then I would practice my sport. Then I would do my homework, eat dinner and go to bed. 

   And my favorite book as a child was “The Little Engine That Could” with the quote “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can”!

Many children grew up and rebelled against the demands of their parents. Others of us idolize our parents and believe the greatest achievement is to accomplish exactly what our parents expected of us. 

Now you would think that at my age, a mother and grandmother, I would have successfully transitioned through these expectations, but not me! These mantras became my lifestyle and as I aged, they only became more embedded into my identity. I’m the one you can count on. I’m the one who won’t grow weary and tired. I’m the one with boundless energy, and to me all things truly are possible!  

This past week, my identity came smashing against a brick wall, telling me I had no options. I found myself sitting in an examination chair in the Opthalmalogist’s office, having been diagnosed with a detached retina in my right eye and needing immediate surgery to repair it; and as the doctor stood squarely across from me and looked into my only functioning eye–my left one–and said, “You must do you. All things must stop.”  I said straight back to him, “I don’t do me!”  He responded, “Then you will go blind in your right eye.” He then quietly said he would give my husband and I a minute to discuss what we’d just been told, and try to digest it. He left the room saying that he already called the hospital and had scheduled my surgery for that same night. 

My head was spinning; my heart was pounding; and my pulse was accelerating!  I had 4 grandchildren under my care. My daughter and son-in-law were in Kenya on a missions trip. My daughter-in-law was in Chicago visiting a friend. My husband and I had a family wedding trip planned to Kansas. We had an anniversary trip planned after that, and I had responsibilities tutoring and at church! How in the world was any of this going to work?  

TRUTH BOMB

WHEN YOU HAVE NOTHING, THEN GOD CAN BECOME EVERYTHING!

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”  Proverbs 3:5-6

This stark, cold realization I was faced with left all of my life mantras less than able to get me through this trial!

The only path I had was directly to my God. I would go blind without this procedure. I had to trust God and His perfect plan, and not my own. My husband and I called our son, and we held hands as he prayed over the situation. I would have to have this surgery, this night.

The doctor returned to the examination room and opened up with an apology. He said that he overheard the prayer, and that he too was a believer in Jesus Christ! Our hearts were immediately aware that God was in this. I may have been unable to handle the situation, but my God was more than able. There are still many more blogs to share, full of details of God’s provision and going before us, and me having a successful surgery. But for today, the greatest truth I learned is trusting in God over anything else I had ever known, or practiced, or learned. 

I look forward to sharing my journey on this experience, as this is a long recovery process. I know that God has much to teach me and to share with you. My prayer for you this week is that, whatever you encounter, you may feel like you have nothing, but that is the moment when God can become everything for you. God is my everything, and I am so eternally thankful!

Speak Truth Love

Have you ever felt the Summer blahs?

 You have played, you have swum, you have splashed, and you have eaten lots of popsicles, and still the long days of Summer persist. 

The heat seems to intensify, and dipping your toes in that cool water or kicking off your shoes and feeling the grass tickle your toes doesn’t feel quit so appealing anymore.

The encouraging news is, God provides a remedy for the Summer blahs. Actually, for any type of “blah”, for that matter. Serving others is the quickest way to take the focus off yourself and any blahs you are feeling! Seeing the joy on someone else’s face, feeling the gratitude you have filled up their heart with, and loving others is the best way to turn our blahs around!

God has a sure fire remedy to get us out of the blahs: serve one another. Paul says in Galatians 5, “serve one another humbly in love.”  

TRUTH BOMB

The surest remedy for any blah is serving one another!

Last week, we were blessed to put this into action. There were a million and one reasons why serving last week wouldn’t have been convenient, accessible, or even doable. But there is no doubt about it: serving and loving on the amazing kids and families that came to OC Breakaway last week shattered any piece of Summer blah that may have tried to creep its way in! The best part of all was being able to share it as a family and serve with the next generation, and the next generation after that!  

As the saying goes, “A picture paints a thousand words.”  Papa sitting with his four grandchildren modeling and setting the example of serving and loving others, says it all!

There were no complaints, no tears, no bad attitudes, just excitement, joy and happiness as were served side by side!  The blessing of serving and loving others is only surpassed by the opportunity to pass it down to the next generation:

“He decreed statutes for Jacob and established the law in Israel, which he commanded our ancestors to teach their children, so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children. Then they would put their trust in God…”.   

Psalm 78:5-6

As you continue sizzling through these lazy days of Summer, the surest way to boost your attitude and expel those Summer blahs, is to get your serve on! 

Speak Truth Love

Are you a “look straight ahead and keep stepping,” walker, or are you a “look down so you don’t stumble over something,” walker?

This may seem like a strange question, but the truth is we tend to fall into one of these two categories!

So are you a “cautious stepper,” or a “bold stepper?”

Either type can find themselves stepping in the wrong direction! Dare I say, “Stepping In It!”  And when I say,”It,” I am not talking about a pile of sweet smelling grass. I am referring to a not so sweet smelling pile of something else!

I think you catch my drift!

You truly would catch the drift if you stepped into it.

We can step accidentally into a pile that stinks or purposely step down a wrong path that leads to nothing but smelly piles.

When we step accidentally into it we may have just taken our eyes off of Jesus for a second or two. We got distracted by a thought we should not be thinking or a picture we should not be looking at, and before we knew it our shoe was covered in it.

When we step into it on purpose it usually means that we have gotten off the path Jesus wants us to walk and we have been stepping where we should not be stepping.

Either way, we wind up stinking!

God has a path He wants us to walk. It is a path that leads us to righteousness, AKA right living. If we keep our eyes on Him we will walk straight and smell good in the process!

“Direct my footsteps according to your word, let no sin rule over me.” Psalm 119:133

TRUTH BOMB

TO KEEP IN PERFECT STEP WE MUST LET GOD’S WORD DIRECT US!

God’s direction is perfect and keeps us stepping in places that are good and right!

As your Summer sizzles on I pray as you spend some lazy days with Him, you also practice stepping in His ways! 

Speak Truth Love

We are halfway there, halfway through this Summer season. Have you slowed down your pace? Have you allowed your steps to become smaller, less pushed by the “have to’s,” and more controlled by the “want to’s?”

Have you taken an early evening stroll through your neighborhood and noticed the summer blooms?

Have you walked along the beach edge and let the water wash over your feet as it ebbs and flows?

Have you taken your boat out onto the lake at sunrise and turned the motor off and just watched the new day begin?

Have you read just one chapter of that book you’ve been meaning to finish before taking on your “to do,” list?

Have you taken that first cup of coffee or tea outside and sipped it slowly as you marvel at God’s creation around you?

Best of all, have you sat just a little longer with God each morning? Have you taken a deep breath in and released it slowly as you realize He is with you there?  Have you sat in silence with Him and savored the fact that you are in relationship with Him? Have you thanked Him for that? Have you opened His Word and read the amazing Truth it holds? Have you let its Truth be the only thing you hear in your busy, complicated mind? Have you let that Truth wash over you like a refreshing dip in a pool? Have you pushed aside the prompting to get up and “do” something? Have you truly given in to being “Lazy” with God?

I hope you have! Because when you do you find the refreshment your parched, weary soul is in desperate need of!

“The law of The Lord is perfect,

Reviving the soul;

The testimony of the Lord is sure,

Making wise the simple;

The precepts of The Lord are right,

Rejoicing the heart;

The commandment of the Lord is pure,

Enlightening the eyes;

The fear of The Lord is clean,

Enduring forever;

The rules of the Lord are True,

And righteous altogether.

More to be desired are they than gold,

Even much fine gold,

Sweeter also than honey and drippings of the honeycomb.”

Psalm 19:7-10

TRUTH BOMB

SLOWING DOWN AND SPENDING TIME WITH GOD IS NEVER WASTED TIME.

You are not a slug when you intentionally slow down, move slower, and get lazy with God. Instead, you are more like a caterpillar nourishing yourself on what you need to become the butterfly God intends you to be!

So, slow down, take in all God has for you and remember, He is creating you to be something beautiful! 

Speak Truth Love

TODAY IS INDEPENDENCE DAY, THE DAY WE AMERICANS CELEBRATE OUR FREEDOM FROM TYRANNY.

When brave Americans fought to secure our right to govern ourselves!

This beautiful right gives us the freedom to go to church or not go to church. It gives us the freedom to vote or not vote. It gives us the freedom to celebrate holidays or not celebrate holidays. All in all it gives us the freedom to think and act independently and make our own choices.

This is a wonderful privilege. We are blessed to be Americans and have these freedoms!

The problem is sometimes we take these freedoms for granted. Jesus reminds us that with FREEDOM comes responsibility!

In the book of John, Jesus is questioned by his very own people regarding His identity. He clearly tells them that He and the Father are One, and His Father sent Him and they act as One.

Then He makes a very important statement that sets the standard to live in FREEDOM and make good choices with that FREEDOM!

Just because we have the freedom to make a choice, doesn’t mean that every choice we make is right!

The only way to make a right choice in each moment of our lives is to know Jesus and His word and follow it!

THIS IS THE WAY TO TRUE FREEDOM!

“If you abide in my Word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set FREE.” John 8:31-32

Jesus Himself is The Truth and if we believe in Him and follow His Words we will make the choices that truly set us free!

“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” John 8:36

TRUTH BOMB

TRUE FREEDOM IS IN JESUS CHRIST ALONE!

So as we watch the fireworks light up our night skies and thank God it is not the “rockets red glare,” or “ the bombs busting in air,” we are watching, let’s rejoice in our country’s freedom but remember our true freedom is in Christ!

Happy 4th Everyone!

Speak Truth Love

It is officially SUMMER, and I have chosen to be LAZY.

The proof of that is I posted my blog on Wednesday instead of Tuesday! Never fear, I still have a ‘Truth Bomb,’ but it will be a ‘Wednesday Truth Bomb’ this week!

The key to my “laziness“, is that I have chosen it! It is not random or due to some “funk“ that I am in, quite the contrary! It is coming from a place of decision and conviction.

At the beginning of June I committed to read through the book of Psalms through the summer! I had shared previously that it is a book that I am so familiar with, yet I never want to take for granted. There is so much rich Truth and vulnerability in it!

I believe, at least at this point in my spiritual journey, that I have come to love David most of all for his vulnerability! He sins and he confesses it. He has a bad day and he moans and groans about it. He has a victory and he celebrates it like no one ever has! And he sees God in and out and through all of his life circumstances and continuously gives him all the glory!

As I was reading through Psalm 73, the very last verse jumped out at me and spoke volumes of truth into my soul.

“But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds.”

Psalm 73:28

My summer, mapped out on a calendar, appears to be anything but LAZY!

I am working, serving, tutoring, making trips back and forth here and there etc., etc., etc.! 

You may look at my summer calendar and think I am crazy to say that I am intentionally taking anything in a lazy manner. But I am!

The definition of Lazy that I am anchoring my Lazy Days of Summer on is…

“Slow moving or sluggish,” as in a slow moving or ‘Lazy Stream’.

The stream has not stopped moving nor has it gotten off of its path, it has simply SLOWED DOWN!

In order for me to be affective, productive, and stay sane throughout my busy summer season, I must embrace and plan for “Lazy Slow Downs!” I am not stopping, I am choosing to be lazy and slow down.

Yesterday I was with my grandkids! I chose to be “lazy“ and slow down and spend the day with them and write my Blog today. It proved wonderful in calming my anxiety of trying to squeeze everything into one day! Instead, I slow down, enjoyed the opportunity in front of me, and moved at a slower pace and wrote my Blog today.

In getting back to the Truth I have Psalm 73 I felt God speaking into my soul; is the rock solid fact that never changes whether I am going full speed ahead or choosing to be “lazy“ and slow down…

“But as for me…”

This first phrase is a self resolve! David chooses to resolve himself to the fact that follows…

“…it is good to be near God!“

TRUTH BOMB

STAY NEAR TO GOD AND HE STAYS NEAR TO YOU WEATHER YOU ARE MOVING FULL STEAM AHEAD OR SLOWING DOWN!

God is not concerned with our “busy schedules!“ He does not love us because of all we do and accomplish. God is with us in the busy and the doing but He is also right there with us and near to us as we slow down and enjoy the best of life‘s moments!

I am going to continue to purposefully enjoy the LAZY DAYS OF SUMMER!

It will not be easy for this purpose driven, high energy child of God. But I hope you will join me through these next couple of months of summer and share in my discipline!

I love you all!

Happy Summer Everyone!

Speak Truth Love