Yesterday marked the completion of week 4 in my recovery. Week 3 was by far the most difficult week physically, and the discouragement threatened to take hold. But through the faithful encouragement of God through His Word, and the loyal committed and loving people in my life, I was sustained. 

In the second week of my recovery, when my face was straight down, eyes parallel to the ground most of the days, my daughter came to me with tears in her eyes. She didn’t understand why I had to go through something like this, but she believed God had given her one of the reasons. She had been praying for the last couple of months about who the speaker should be for their quarterly Mom’s Night event. She looked straight at me and said, “Mom, I’ve asked God over and over, and I believe it’s supposed to be you.”  I wish this had not been my initial response, but I have committed to being authentic in this Blog. I laughed! How in the world could she be serious?  Besides my eye looking horrific, somewhat like a cyclops, I still had no vision in my right eye at all, and laying face down for two weeks had left me nauseous and dizzy. My girl is my “no nonsense, take care of business, steady Eddy, gift from God.” She meant what she was saying, and believed with all her heart that God had affirmed it. 

If I have learned anything in my 62 years, it is not to say no to God. I said, with tears in my eyes, back to her, that I would do it. I was so honored and so very humbled that she would believe in me. I began praying about it. They had a theme, “I Will Choose to Cultivate a Culture of Intentionality in my Home.”  And a Scripture verse: “Her children arise and call her blessed…”  Proverbs 31:28. 

But if God wanted me to speak for Him, I fully believed He would accelerate my healing process and make that possible!

Now if you remember my third week, the week I committed to this, that was my worst week ever. I made it through and assumed that God had one week left.  As time drew closer and closer to the event, my heart began to sink. Maybe Christina heard wrong?  There was no way that I could walk up on that stage unassisted, let alone speak God’s truth without falling over or tripping on something! And I certainly wouldn’t be wearing any makeup on that right eye, that I still couldn’t even flush with water.  My mind began swirling as I continually asked God over and over, “How am I going to do this?”  

The day of the event, I spent all morning and into the afternoon, writing my message on binder paper, as well and as big and as legible as I could. My head was spinning as my partial sight, which was returning to my right eye, halfway down, was still blurred. My left eye, battling to correct the vision, was blurry also. I would write, and then I’d have to stop and rest my eyes, and then continue writing. My goal was to get it onto my iPad, and then increase the font size. But there was no way my worn out eyes were going to allow that to happen. I resigned myself to the fact that I would be walking on stage, with assistance, holding 15 ripped out spiral notebook paper (can anybody say old school?) and give it my best shot. 

I do want to stop here and praise God, that He, through the 2 weeks, continuously helped me to fight through it and not give up. My daughter is the most sincere, dedicated, committed godly woman I know. She had heard from God that it was supposed to be me. So I had no doubt that God had a plan for me to be on that stage that night. My problem was, I had no idea what God was going to do with me in my fragile, weak state. 

The energy in the room that night was amazing! The humble, dedicated servants that had worked so hard to make that place look so warm and welcoming to those mammas renewed my spirit for God’s people and their commitment to one another. This was God’s night, and I knew He had already shown up. All I had to do was trust Him and step out in faith!

I made it on stage with no assistance. I may have looked like I was 82 walking up those stairs, but I did it. I sat my notes on the podium and realized immediately as i looked down on them, I could not read one thing I had written on that paper. This was God’s night and He and only He knew what those women needed to hear. I trusted Him for it and I started speaking and never stopped for 40 minutes straight!  God had given me a message and had written it on my heart. He brought everything to my mind, just when I needed it. I pray with all my heart that those sweet mamas were blessed. They, beyond a shadow of a doubt, knew that I loved them, but God loved loved them more! But this Mama/Mamma was touched beyond measure. My God showed me that He will use me, even in my fragility and weakness.

As Paul says, “For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 

2 Corinthians 12:10

Truth Bomb

Our Fragility & Weakness Is Not An Obstacle for God!

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